


Broken in Everyway

by ozbradbury



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Asexual Castiel, Asexuality, Bisexual Dean, Destiel - Freeform, Fluff, M/M, Past Rape/Non-con, WIP, i just realised that i should added that tag a while a go, im sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-20
Updated: 2015-09-05
Packaged: 2018-03-18 18:28:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3579528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ozbradbury/pseuds/ozbradbury
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At 27 asexual Castiel has sworn off relationships but the promise of making his family hate him a little less is enough to make Cas consider forcing himself into a relationship. His art is all he really has to his name along with his trusty coffee machine. Two of his older siblings love him and Claire is pretty much a younger sister but he feels there is only so log he can lean on them for help. <br/>Dean on the other hand is living his life the way he never thought he would, an aspiring biology teacher with a developing crush on the man who can make a killer coffee and loves and cares with all his might.<br/>It's a strange world and there's only so much either of them can take</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 

**‘ _Are you coming tonight?_ ’ **

 

Cas read, letting out a small sigh at Anna’s crazy question. The last place he wanted to be was stuck at family dinner, especially not now while still single. He typed out a reply before getting back to the finishing touches of his painting.

 

**_‘That’s what I thought, Claire will be at yours then tonight. She’s grounded’_ **

 

Cas just read it and accepted it, that poor girl has been grounded on and off for about 2 months so if he could provide any help he would.

 

About 20 minutes the flash of lights pulled Cas out of a silent painting session and he rushed to turn the tv on. Anna had a problem against him being home with no background noise, it worried her because of Cas’s mental history, he wasn’t crazy though, maybe broken but not crazy.

“I know that the tv wasn’t on Castiel, you’re not fooling anyone.”  Anna stood in the back of the room smiling at the various portraits in different stages of working.

 

“Yeah, well it’s worth a try, right?” Cas switched the tv back off and a small laugh came from Claire who had already made herself comfortable on the couch.

 

“It’s not too late to come along, you know that.” Anna made her way over to Cas, with a sort of cautious feel about her.

 

“Then who would watch Claire and make sure she doesn’t sneak out and drink herself silly?” he replied as another stifled laugh came from Claire “I’ll walk you out to your car dear sister.”

 

Cas made a quick move out the door ahead of Anna.

“You can’t avoid us all forever, Cas.” Anna said standing outside her car

 

“Anna, I need to prove to them that I can be normal first. When I can show them that I’m in a stable relationship then I will.”

 

“That doesn’t define you, don’t let them make you think it does.”

 

“Have fun at dinner. I will drop Claire at school tomorrow so just go straight home. We can talk later if we must. Don’t be late.” Cas avoided the conversation and gave Anna a hug just so he didn’t have to keep eye contact, it hurt just a bit too much.

Painting was all that he wanted on his mind tonight and that whole plan had gone down the drain. Though he had planned to catch up with Claire, she was like a younger sister to him and it’d been awhile since he could put on a prohibited movie and have some calm human interaction.

 

“She’s just worried about you.” Cas ignored her and set out to pour some soda and get some popcorn.

 

“Cas.” Claire sat by the tv stopped in the process of picking out a movie.

 

“No!” Castiel near yelled “No, pick a movie and sit down I don’t want to talk about this.”

 

“Ah, sorry Castiel. What about Harry Potter, mum seems to really be against me watching this.” her voice small and weak now, and to say the least Cas felt guilt.

 

It wasn’t like he was mad at Claire though but he didn’t want to talk about it, she was too smart for her age and he couldn’t let her see through the cracks. Anna always kept a close eye on both of them so there’s no way he could risk exposing his doubts much more than already seemed obvious. The problem was the way Castiel saw this whole situation compared to Anna, who claimed to not, Cas understood where their family is coming from, he understood their constant remarks on how he’s broken, how he might be unfixable. He knew his parents were right and couldn’t understand why Anna -and don’t forget Gabe- thought that Cas was normal, that he could not  want people in the common way, to want their comfort rather than their touch.

Cas continued to to let his mind run around in circles in this mindset until halfway through the second Harry Potter movie when Claire’s legs became heavy on Cas’s and he knew she was asleep. He got up carefully from out underneath Claire, turned off the tv and tucked her in under her blanket that stayed in the spare room. Cas had been looking after that girl for the majority of her life, probably more than Anna at some points and he wanted to give her a open view to the world, making sure she wasn’t caught up in the family religious beliefs, Anna loved her but didn’t see the problem.

The option now was to either get some sleep before the lecture tomorrow morning or continue painting his most recent commission. Painting was his choice, all important classes seem to be over for the semester and he promised to have the portraits finished by Christmas eve.

7 hours and a large amount of coffee later Cas found himself half way through the portraits with one finished and another two well in the making, passed out on the floor rolled up next to the small cat he adopted 6 months ago. His morning medication reminder woke Claire at 8am, she had Cas’s meds ready with a glass of water and gently woke him up.

“Cas, everything is on the bench for you. I’m going to get ready.” Claire said kindly as Cas squinted up at her, somewhat blinded by the early morning sun.

It seemed to be common, finding Cas asleep on the floor after a long night painting his way through college, commission after commision sometimes multiple important jobs all at once but he managed it, in his small flat by himself -except for Terry the cat- always on top of papers that are due, always willing to help when he can; always finding a distraction to the constant doubt in his head.

Cas sat up and stretched out, somewhat regretting his choice of sleeping places but not actually attempting to change his ways. This was the first time this week he would actually attempt to take his anti-depressants, for Claire because, if anyone, she needed an uncle she could rely on. He busied himself with making breakfast, writing out on his hand what food he would have to replace today during grocery shopping; it calmed him to always have what he needed to remember just under his sleeve.

“Don’t forget to add paper to that list.” Claire smiled across the counter. She knew it made Cas feel better to have it on him but she knew how to make a joke without hurting him.

“Shut up and eat your breakfast otherwise I’ll let your mother know what you watched last night.” Cas said as he tipped his now unappetizing coffee down the sink.

“Do it, lets see who looks worse. The terrible uncle who let a child watch a movie full of satan worshippers or her ‘innocent’ daughter who was forcefully made to watch sin in it’s purest form.” Claire let out a small laugh knowing really she was right, Anna would kill Castiel for letting Claire watch anything when she’s grounded let alone Harry Potter.

“Yeah, yeah. Hurry up I have classes today as well.” They sat in silence for the rest of the morning and pretty much didn’t say much until Cas stopped outside Claire’s high school; Lawrence High.

“Claire, I’m sorry about last night. Please don’t tell Anna. You know what she’s like.” Cas was worried, he had spent months convincing her and Gabe -really the only two siblings he talked to- that he was getting better but recently he had struggled to keep his mind from wandering.

“I won’t say anything but if she asks I’m not lying. I’m on a thin line and I can’t be lying to her about her brother.” Claire pulled her bag out from the back seat and gave Cas one last smile before heading up the stairs into the school.

Cas knew it was too much to ask, really. Cas checked the time after sending Anna a text letting her know that Claire made it to school, (his lecture started in ten minutes) and silently pleaded for the roads to be empty enough not to make the five minute journey to Kansas University any longer than it needed to be.

 

Not being late was the only positive thing that seemed to come out of the lecture, Cas thought to himself as he made his way over to the teaching department. Maybe luck would be on his side just enough for him to be able to get a student teacher to tutor Claire in biology. Anna had been pestering him for weeks, always asking if he could just see if there was someone. “It’s important”, she had said. “She needs a proper career” and he had agreed to check it out if Claire was allowed to study at his. The amount that Anna censored her daughter wasn’t much of Cas’s concern but he believed that she needed some more freedom at the age of 16 otherwise she was just going to fall off the rails and if letting her have tutoring and study hours at his place saved a trainwreck he was willing to help.

A small board titled “Job Seekers” caught his eye and Cas couldn’t quite believe his luck when he saw on it multiple teachers nearing the end of their degrees offering tutoring for people who needed it, no doubt it being a part of their grade, experience and all but it was a small upturn for the day. His luck seemed to run out there though, as he scanned the various colourful flyers he noticed none seemed to be offering any help in science based areas, nearly all hope was lost until a man about Cas’s age shoved past him in order to hang his pamphlet, advertising high school level science tutoring. ‘Dean’ it read down the bottom of the page and Cas had to quickly connect the dots together before he managed to yell out to him.  
“Are you Dean?” Cas had to do a small run skip in order for him to be able to hold a conversation at a reasonable volume.  
“I sure am! May I help you?” Dean asked coming to a swift halt and turning around with an award winning smile on his face.

“Do you tutor biology by any chance?” He managed to stop walking altogether, now actually caught up with the taller man.

“I sure do! Why, are you in need of a biology tutor?” Dean was a handsome guy, Cas wasn’t able to say he was attracted to him but he could definitely appreciate the obvious.

“My niece, I promised that I would find her one, and you seem to fit the part. What’s your rate?” Cas just wanted to get the conversation over with a positive outcome.

“$50 a lesson?” Dean let off a kind of confidence, the sort that just oozed from him, that he showed off in every movement.

“Awesome! My name is Castiel, is it okay if I get your number so I can organise a time.” Cas fumbled a pen out of his pocket, prepared to write it down onto his hand.

Dean scanned Castiel’s arm, obviously looking over the large amounts of writing already covering his right arm.

“Here pass me the pen and put out you left arm, easier to find that way.” Dean smiled taking the pen from Cas’s hand and printing out his number in a sort of majestic way.

“Thank you Dean, I will get in touch as soon as I speak to my sister.” Cas smiled taking his pen back and returning it to his pocket before he turned away with a feeling of success.

“Castiel, wait up!” Dean called, having to make a few awkward strides back towards Cas. “I’ll make it $40 if you say yes to going out for a cup of coffee with me now?”

Cas would normally say no but due to recent conversations he thinks he should probably consider trying to be a normal human being for once. Castiel pulled on what he thought was an attractive smile and nodded his head. “Deal! I have to get my backpack out of my car first if that’s okay.” Dean beamed to say the least, he held his arm out in a sort of ‘after you’ gesture and they both walked to Cas’s car.

 

“You know it would be much easier if we both just drove.” Castiel called back to Dean as he leaned into his car searching around under the seat where he kept his bag. Driving himself would give him an easy way out of the situation if he needed or just a way to not show up at all.

“Hmm” Dean hummed out, causing Castiel to lean back and give Dean a skeptical look. Dean’s eyes flicked up in a kind of horror as he was caught staring at Cas’s ass.

“Ah- Yeah smart idea. But how do I know you’re not just using it to go back on our agreement and not show up?” Dean’s confidence built back up pretty fast but he had a small amount of worry in his eyes.

Cas felt a bit bad now, the fact that the thought of just not showing up did cross his mind. It’s fair though, right? He didn’t owe this man anything and he never was going to actually do anything except use Dean if he could.

“Tell me where we’re going and follow me. I can’t ditch you then, can I?” Cas tried his best to flirt even though it was quite obviously not his forte he’d do anything to get back, well closer, to being in the good books with the his parents.

The drive seemed to be the most stressful part because half an hour later Dean and Cas were enjoying a piece of cake together.

“So why would you even want to be a high school teacher? It sounds extremely tiring.” Cas laughed a bit at the thought of having to put up with those shitbags _everyday_.

“My brother, watching him grow up and seeing what I can teach him. It made me feel special, you know, useful.” Dean smiled in a proud sort of way, it was nice to see. Cas let out a hum in response thinking about when he teaches something new to Claire, something she wouldn’t have known otherwise, he understands what it’s like.

“Tell me this, Mr fine arts major, you have a lot of wit to you, why art?” Dean put his fork down and acted like he really wanted to know, which was something new.

“I’m good at it.” There wasn’t much more of a reason, Cas had been told his whole life that it was really the only thing that he was good at so he stuck with it.

“Well that’s good but do you enjoy it? Being good at something isn’t always a reason to do something for your entire your life Castiel.” There was a stern look on Dean’s face and it made Cas feel a tad bit uncomfortable.

“No one enjoys studying art Dean. But being good at it is all I’ve got so it just has to be.” Cas tried his best to just laugh it off, he didn’t want to have this conversation. Luckily Claire came to the rescue.

**‘I’m at yours and you’re 6 o’clock meds reminder went off. Where are you?”**

followed quickly by

**‘do i need to call mum?’**

“I’m sorry Dean, I have to leave you.” Cas quickly pulled out his wallet and a pen “Here’s $20 for all this and here’s my number for the tutoring.” He reached out for Dean’s arm to write his number.

“Is everything okay Castiel?” Dean took hold of Cas’s hand in order to try and calm him.

“Everything’s fine, family drama is all.” And that was it, as Cas made sure he had everything and was out the door and on the phone to Claire as soon as he could.

 

**“Cas! I was about to call mum.”**

“No need, I’m on my way back. Have your stuff ready I’m going to drop you back home.”

**“Alright. I told mum I was going to be home tonight anyway.”**

“Good. Ten minutes.” Cas hung up the phone and rushed home. No way was he going to let his sister know that he wasn’t taking his meds.

 

Cas managed to drop Claire off back at his sister’s without getting her in too much trouble for being late. Back home was peaceful, though seeing his meds that sat out on his bench with a glass of water made him feel a bit guilty, Claire had obviously put them there to remind him to take them and all Cas did was throw them out and pour the water down the drain. He wasn’t depressed anymore and felt like he was losing himself to the pills that he swallowed every day in attempt to be normal. Lost in thought Castiel kicked Terry’s food bowl sending the dry biscuits flying all over the floor and bringing the lanky cat wandering in, whining about the now empty plate. In the process of sweeping the floor and replacing the food for his cat, Cas’s phone started ringing.

 

“Hello”

 **“Castiel, Claire told me that you weren’t taking your meds. I’m coming over now with Gabriel. We need to talk.”** Anna near yelled through the phone, she was angry and Cas knew she wasn’t going to listen to excuses.

“Listen, Anna. I can explain, you don’t need to come over.”

**“You’re my baby brother and I care about you so I’m coming over whether you want me to or not. I was just telling you.”**

And that was the end of the conversation. Cas knew that it was going to be a long evening.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okaaaaay I took months to do this but shit happen okay. Sorry if this is a bit upsetting but I love emotional stuff okay... Sorry again

To say the least, it was an uncomfortable experience. After 40 minutes of yelling and bucket loads of tears, tension was still high, but they had gotten somewhere. Cas had managed to convince Anna and Gabriel that he didn’t need the pills anymore.

“Look Cas, Claire is at Raphael's tonight so Gabe and I are going to stay for a bit longer. Get some food in you.” Anna’s solution wasn’t the worst it could’ve been, so Castiel had to take his wins. He knew they were going to stay. Gabe went out 10 minutes ago to get some dinner and no doubt candy. He felt a bit bad for Claire though. As much as Cas loves his siblings, Raphael did have a sort of tone about him that isn’t always that much fun. At this point, the possibility of not being able to look after Claire worried him. It was an important thing for her as much as it was for him.

“Stay here all you want but can she still study here?” Cas asked, scared for the answer.

 

“Who, Claire? I couldn’t stop her even if I wanted to” Anna seemed unfazed by the question and she wandered around the house, cleaning things up.

 

Cas couldn’t help but smile now. Not only could he continue to help out Claire he could continue tricking Dean. “Good, I got her a tutor like you asked.”

 

“Good. Just let me know how much and I’ll put the money through to your account. I’ll let you deal with it.” Anna acted like she couldn’t care less, but Cas knew she was happy.

Gabe came back not much later with pizza and some kind of chocolatey dessert, which wasn’t much of a surprise knowing his sweet tooth. The three of them managed to have a civil dinner without too many looks drifting in Cas’s direction. By the time they had finished a lame movie that was playing on the TV they had reverted back to their childhood selves and were acting up together like any siblings would. This was what Cas missed the most. Being the youngest, his family had always been there for him, until they weren’t. They had all been so close up to the moment when his parents shunned him and his brothers beat him. Anna and Gabe had left home at this point leaving him defenceless and broken.

Cas was brought out of his uncomfortable memory by Gabe waving his hand in front of Cas’s face.

“You okay there brother?” Gabriel asked with a true worried expression bringing fault in his smile.

“I think it might just be time for me to sleep is all, I’ll leave the couch to you seeing that Anna has taken the spare room.” Cas pulled on a smile and felt it grow when Anna yelled out “that’s right” in response from the adjacent room.

 

Once Cas had managed to get changed and ready for bed, he really felt his exhaustion falling upon him. It wasn’t like he had a bad day, but he just wasn't used to being so open anymore. With his heavy, warm duvet pulled over his head, Cas was able to let out a long-held-off sob. He tried to keep quiet because even with the door closed his family was so close.

Cas heard his door open and held his breath. He thought that it was just Anna being motherly, but he was taken by surprise when he felt someone pull him into a hug in the pitch black. From this he knew who it was.

“Don’t be afraid to cry little brother.” Gabe held on to Cas the way he used to 20 years ago when they were so young. At this, Cas let out his breath and let tears fall, taking comfort in his brother's arms.

 

Everything seemed to be back to normal. Well, normal-ish. Either Gabriel or Anna were over several times in the past week, just making sure he was coping. Cas had finished the semester, he had no stress because he finished his portfolio a month ago, and really everything seemed to be going alright. He did forget about the whole studying deal for Claire until he got a call from Dean on the following Thursday.

***

 

It’d been well over a week since Dean had talked to Castiel, and Dean was worried. It wasn’t even about missing out on a tutoring deal, he was worried about what had happened to make someone run off like that. He felt like he just needed to call Cas to make sure he was okay.

 

**“Hello, Castiel speaking.”**

“Hey, ah, it’s Dean here just calling to see if you’re okay.” Wow, Dean felt like he fucked up already, he felt like he was being weird and intrusive. Why the hell did he feel like this?

There was a brief moment of quiet over the line before a gasp came from Castiel.

**“Oh my gosh! Dean, I’m so sorry! I completely forgot to call. I must seem so rude.”**

Castiel seemed flustered but overall okay, though Dean didn’t know at all what had happened and something made him want to.

“No, not at all. In all honestly I just wanted to make sure you are okay. I know I don’t know you all that well but s’just you ran out in a rush last week and ah..”

Dean knew he was rambling and felt he needed to stop so Castiel wouldn't figure out that he was blushing through the phone line.

**“Oh, I’m good thanks, really I am. Well, because we’re talking now I must ask if you’re still prepared to tutor my niece?”**

“Yes, about that...”

***

Cas was terrified. Did he leave it too long? Did he come off as a weirdo?

“I am fully prepared to keep this deal as long as we properly finish this coffee promise.” Dean finished, seeming somewhat proud that he got to chuck that in.

**“Ah, honestly I have a whole heap of painting to get done commission wise so I can’t be taking too much time out of my schedule”** Cas felt horrible, he had to tell the truth. His entire week plan was based around staying at home to get the commission finish right on time.

A deflated “oh” came through from the other line and it just made Cas feel worse, an awkward silence sat between them.

Cas was thinking of ways to make it work **“Ah, if you want you could um, come round to mine and have a coffee here, Claire will be round a bit later also so it’s a win-win”** It could work and he hopes it does. Dean could also serve as some company that he sometimes lacks while painting.

“Sure thing, text me your address and I’ll be round a bit later.” Dean sounded a fair amount happier, so it seemed that Cas chose the right thing to say.

They said their goodbyes, and Cas sent through the text with his address. A strange feeling ran through him, Cas felt nervous and he didn’t really know why.

 

Looking through his cupboards Cas noticed that he had been living on biscuits and food that his siblings had been supplying him, he hadn’t gone shopping in a week, no milk, coffee, or any other essentials. Just his luck he had about an hour to kill so he managed to head out to the shops to get some substantial food.

It was strange being out and about again, spending a week cooped up painting and only seeing family really made Cas realise that he lacked a lot of friends. Shaking that thought off, Cas sped down the aisles, picking up everything he needed and a cake that caught his fancy. He raced back home, regretting his choice of going to his favourite grocery store that was located a fair 15 minute distance from his house.

 

He’d been home maybe 15 minutes unpacking food and preparing his canvas when there was a knock on the door. Cas felt a smile spread across his face and went to open the door.

“Dean, come on in.” Dean looked nice; he wore a flannel shirt- which thus far seemed to be a reoccurring theme- and some blue fitted jeans that suited him well.

“Afternoon, Castiel,” Dean followed Cas though the hall down into the living room area, taking in everything that there was to see “nice place ya’ got here.”

It wasn’t a lot, just a few photos of who Cas considered family, not very homely.

“Yeah, I’m lucky to have this house. My parents gave it to me, not really sure why in all honestly but I take what I can get.” Cas tried to close off the conversation the best he could, he didn’t want to lie but he wasn’t going to tell Dean they left it and got it blessed just so there’d be no sin in the foundations to further corrupt him.

“I’ll make us a coffee, I have a machine in the kitchen.”

“Cool.” Dean was still preoccupied, looking around the room. Cas understood that having a nice house, Dean might expect him to also have swanky furniture and a big, fancy TV, but he didn’t and he felt someone ashamed of that.

 

A few minutes later Cas served a hot cup of coffee down in front of where Dean decided to sit at the breakfast bar.

“Thanks Castiel, it looks good.” He blew on it to cool it down and took a sip.

“Dean, you can just call me Cas.” It wasn’t something new to be called by his full name but Cas just felt like it being said too often caused a strange formal feel to a situation.

“Okay Cas, how’d you learn to make coffee on one of those?” Dean asked, Cas’s name rolling of his tongue, pointing at the one fancy he did own, his coffee machine.

“Oh that’s a good thing to come from a bad situation. In second year my art class decided to team up with some of the commerce students and opened a small cafe, it was fun though it only lasted about 6 months before personalities clashed severely and it all fell apart.

But in that time I managed to learn how to make an okay drink and I enjoyed making them so I saved up and brought a second hand machine to use at home.” In the time Cas took to tell his story, he’d taken out his brushes and began to paint.

“Well, you did well. This is a good coffee.” Dean smiled, he had swivelled round on the stool to reply.

 

About half an hour of casual conversation went on and Cas managed to get much more painting done than he normally would alone, it felt strange to feel this calm and collected while completing his commissions, usually he’d pick apart his art and feel the need to stop or just get bored and slow down, often to a halt. It was getting close to 3:30 so it wasn’t going to be long until Claire came bursting in.

 

“Would you like another coffee Dean?” Cas cleaned up his brushes and pushed everything under his trolley to get it out of the way.

“You sure? Wouldn’t want you to run out of coffee because of me.” Dean seemed a bit worried like he was going to power through all Cas’s supplies.

“It’s not a problem, Dean. I thought I might make Claire a hot chocolate as I haven’t done that in a while and she’s bound to be home any minute now.” Cas fussed around the kitchen getting out a new cup and getting the milk.

“Well then I’d love another, thanks.” Dean sounded happy enough, Cas was a bit worried that he might be getting bored of sitting round just talking and all.

Cas had finished up Dean’s coffee and started on Claire’s hot chocolate when he heard the front door open and someone stomping through the doorway. Cas knew it was Claire, he just smirked at Dean who let out a quiet chuckle.

“CASSSS! Did you know there’s a stupid car parked out the front so the bus couldn’t stop and I had to walk all the wa-” Claire was ranting as she walked into the room and stopped, startled by an unknown person being in the house.

“That would be my car, sorry. I didn’t know it was a bus stop.” Dean was genuinely sorry, he didn’t want to mess up the flow of the street.

“Dean, it’s not. The bus stop is up the street, Claire is just being bratty. And to think I made her a hot chocolate.” Cas teased a bit, knowing the kind of response that he would get.

Claire apologised and took the drink from the bench, thoroughly enjoying the first sip.

“Do you have any food, by any chance?” Claire asked walking past and looking in the fridge. “Cake! Yes!” An excited voice yelled out before Cas could even open his mouth to reply and Claire looked back at Cas as asking for permission, to which he just nodded.

“Serve it up for all three of us, Claire, I will be back in just a moment.” Cas walked out of the kitchen and living area, Terry was making a noise upstairs, he’s jumped up and found himself locked in a room, stupid cat.

Cas came back down to find Claire going on about her biology teacher and how she refuses to teach the class anything, Dean seemed amused but interested, like he wanted tips on how and how not to be a good teacher and what to really not do if you don’t want to be bitched about by your students. It made Cas feel good though, it was relieving to know that they get along, not only because he was still hoping Dean would be keen for the tutor but because Cas has had some friends in his life that were pretty shit to Cas _and Claire_ when they found out about the family arrangement and he didn’t really want that happen again, though he knew it wouldn’t, Dean’s a good guy.

 

“Shit! It’s later than I thought, I’m meeting my younger brother for dinner tonight and he’s coming round early, I completely forgot. I’m going to have to get going.” Dean was looking at his watch before he got to his feet and left all three saying their goodbyes.

 

It was about 6pm when Cas decided he should make dinner for Claire and him, for the first time in weeks his siblings hadn't been round and made dinner all together and it made Cas just feel that bit more independent again.

"So do you think Dean will be a good tutor, Claire?” asked Cas while chopping up some vegetables and placing them in a tray.

“Yeah I like him, and I think he’d make a pretty good boyfriend too.” Claire said with mischievous voice and a grin on her face.

An audible sigh fell from Cas’s lips. “Claire, you know it’s not like that, I’m not like that.” He stopped for a moment before putting the tray in the oven and moving to the sink to wash the chopping board.

“Yes Cas, I know,” Cas just sensed the eye roll. “And it doesn’t have to be like _that._ I had a boyfriend when I was 8 before sexual attraction was even a thing and it was just because I liked his personality, your relationship clearly would be more than a childish crush but no matter who it’s with if you like them you don’t need a foundation of desire to base it on. And Cas I know I’m young and inexperienced but I’m surrounded by lovesick teenagers every day and I can assure you that Dean has a thing for you.” Claire spoke sincerely which resonated with Cas, Claire spoke in a new way, a way he had never looked at his life.

 

“Wise beyond your years, you are.” Cas felt awkward, he saw Claire as a little sister not someone to be taking advice from “and you have one heck of a gaydar on you missy, even I wouldn’t of picked up on Dean being remotely interested” He laughed to try and lighten the moment.

 

The two had dinner before Cas drove Claire home and not until he was sitting round watching some drippy movie did Cas really begin to think about what a relationship with Dean or anyone would in fact entail. Thoughts of Cas’s younger years flood back, memories full of forceful movements and hate against him, the times where Cas had told his partner about his sexuality and the fallouts caused by that. He’d sworn off dating but maybe if he could just use Dean a little, to prove himself to his family not dating as such.

Time ticked on as Cas continued to have an internalized argument with himself about the rights and the wrongs of this possible idea, all he could think is why not? Sure, it’s not what Claire meant when she said Dean would be a good boyfriend but her judgement was enough, the least Cas should really do is just see if Dean is interested because Cas wasn’t one to waste opportunities.

The clock hit about 10pm and a new sense of tiredness washed over Cas, the sleeping pills he’d taken earlier working in the brain wrecking way they did. So Cas put Terry out and headed for bed ready to have another night of heavy sleep.


End file.
